Yes, we're back to the fun subject of feedback after my team vs. tribal city rant.
In our last installment, we talked about the boomerang method of getting feedback. You work and about 6 months later, you hear what you did wrong when you can't fix it.
In this issue, we'll briefly discuss what happens when you get feedback from people who's opinions don't really matter. And of course, we'll have to discuss why you are getting that feedback in the first place.
We'll begin with an example of what I'm talking about. About a year ago, I was leading a project avidly with about 10 other people. The project changed directions about 5 times and then it sort of died down. It had a short resurgence, and I had to assert my position a few times on the project team. A few weeks later, two women, who really had nothing to do with my project, nor were they on my team, decided to give my boss feedback on me for the project. It wasn't good feedback- they claimed I was trying to take over a project that really wasn't mine.
The feedback seemed out of place. It was given by two women who weren't on my team and didn't have anything to do with the project. I didn't understand where it came from until later when it became clear that they wanted to attach themselves to the projects as the owners of it for the glory and fame associated with completing it.
Where to begin....
First, we need to understand why people who aren't associated with your job in any direct fashion are giving "feedback" on your performance. In some cases, it really is in your best interest. They might be interpreting or hearing things that you are doing differently than others and what they say can be seen as an unbiased opinion and judgment of your work. You could really learn from this feedback so it can be important to hear it and take it in.
On the other hand, you can have people with other motives...usually power. In my case, these women wanted the project from me. It was a high profile project which could have garnered them many accolades, so the easy way to put a person down is to give feedback that's negative about how they approach something. It's very possible that I was in the wrong and being overly assertive- but what matters in this instance is that the women were never there personally to be making these claims. They decided that they were going to give this criticism absent of any actual knowledge on the subject. This is a power play.
The problem is that although their opinion shouldn't have mattered, it did to my manager. And this is the problem with most out-of-place feedback. People who have nothing to do with your job shouldn't be giving feedback on your performance. Ultimately, they are reaching that opinion via gossip and not first hand knowledge. However, in the new style of performance reviews, their opinions are anonymous and part of a collective set of opinions. Unless you have a really thoughtful manager, this isn't going to get weeded out in a review.
So what to do? You can't escape some negative criticism in your career unless you have perfect charm, charisma, popularity, work ethic, and competency, so two things to know:
1. Take criticism, especially from people who don't matter, in stride. If you can learn something from what they say after letting it marinate a little, that's all the better, but don't worry if you can't. In the words of Jay-Z, go on brush your shoulder off, you gotta get that dirt off your shoulder.
2. Try listening instead of talking sometimes. I'll confess that I am TERRIBLE at this. I am passionate and excitable about my projects and just like jumping in with ideas and information, so this is still something I need to learn. But if you can, try listening instead of talking sometimes and maybe you can avoid some of that feedback.
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