I saw a movie this week that changed, or rather, reminded me of a thought process I forgot about. All this business angst I've been carrying around is keeping me from being my best.
In her book Eat, Pray, Love, Liz Gilbert describes a method of thinking about the past and your troubles in a way that makes total sense, but I often forget about in the moment.
In the book (and the movie), a friend tells the protagonist to, "Send it light, send it love, then drop it."
The protagonist is talking about a failed and missed relationship and how hard it is to let go and the friend simply tells her that it's ok to miss things and love them, but you need to just learn to send it light, send it love, then drop it.
I realized that I'm not doing that in the process of letting go of the business world that I just don't fit into. I'm angry at the process and the lack of respect of people on a day to day basis, but being angsty isn't going to change my reality.
So this month, I'm trying something new. Every time I'm reminded of the misery of my old job or the current misery of another's job, I simply need to send that world light, send it love, then drop it. It's one single facet of a life, not the whole part.
In that same vein, that means after only a few short months, I'm retiring this blog. No need for the angst baby, no need for the angst.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Insulting Interview
Yesterday, I went to one of the most insulting interviews I've ever been to, though sadly, it was not my first.
The first time was in 2005. I was working at the Cincinnati Enquirer as a sales coordinator and wanted to be promoted, so I interviewed for the sales associate position. Walking into that interview, I was confident and composed. Walking out of that interview, I was shaky and upset. I had unknowingly walked into a mine field. The manager had decided to throw rumors left and right in my face and scream at me. None of the rumors were true, which my current manager corroborated on my behalf later; but at the time, I was freaking out. I told myself to stay calm and answer his questions (accusations really) to the best of my ability.
In this situation, it all worked out for the best. The manager apologized, I began to work for him and for the next year, we had a great working relationship.
Yesterday, I was interviewing with an agency who I had interviewed with in February. In February, I had a decently hefty consulting schedule and couldn't work full time, but this time, I'd be able to hold down a full time job and keep some consulting work on the side. When they called, they informed me the position I was interviewing for was temporary, with potential to become full time. I assumed this meant that they needed help on an account, but had not gotten full approval from the client on the additional headcount.
I was really, really wrong.
When I arrived, they were 10 minutes late beginning the interview. Not 5 minutes in, they told me that I was there because they thought my resume was interesting, but not really what they were looking for. However, all the candidates whose resumes were perfect hadn't worked out in the interview process. Since I wasn't really right for the job, they were interviewing me for a "temporary" account supervisor position. They wanted to see if they could try me out because they didn't think I'd work out. Oh, and on top of that, throughout the course of the 2 person interview, they also told me that they were going to keep the account supervisor position open and continue to look for someone to fill it while I would be doing the job temporarily.
So, to summarize, they didn't really like me from my resume, but thought I was interesting. They weren't willing to hire me for the account supervisor position, but would take me temporarily and keep looking for the perfect account supervisor. Additionally, they wanted me to start right away, accept the offer of temporary work, but I had no idea what I would be making. They also seemed confused that I needed a formal offer to review before accepting the job.
If I were desperate for work, I probably would have swallowed my pride and said sure, I'll work here even though you've insulted my ability and my intelligence by being here. However, I'm fortunate enough to know that I deserve better than to be treated as a low grade marketing professional.
And apparently, this type of interview is quite common in the agency world. They make sure you know that they don't really like you but are willing to let you get a foot in the door. This way, they can pay you next to nothing and watch you grind it out with blood, sweat and tears to make it in their agency.
I'm not against hard work and paying your dues. Life and work is filled with adversity you have to overcome. But I am very much against working in an environment where you aren't expected to succeed from the get-go.
In life, you often have to prove yourself, but shouldn't have to prove yourself to an audience of people who are clearly not expecting you to succeed and show you no respect whatsoever. If you are on twitter or follow the tweets from the @shitmydadsays account, it's like the elder Halpern says: "Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
So what to do in a situation like this? Breathe. Smile. Don't retaliate. Believe it or not, you have a bridge to all the people you interview with and you don't want to burn it with a snide remark. Answer their questions, but let them do most of the talking. Shake hands hard, be confident and walk the heck out of there with your head held high.
And don't accept an offer below your skill level unless you really need to. It's a bad economy, but you'd be better off getting a job at a Starbucks where they will appreciate your work ethic than working someplace where from the beginning where they don't really want you to succeed.
The first time was in 2005. I was working at the Cincinnati Enquirer as a sales coordinator and wanted to be promoted, so I interviewed for the sales associate position. Walking into that interview, I was confident and composed. Walking out of that interview, I was shaky and upset. I had unknowingly walked into a mine field. The manager had decided to throw rumors left and right in my face and scream at me. None of the rumors were true, which my current manager corroborated on my behalf later; but at the time, I was freaking out. I told myself to stay calm and answer his questions (accusations really) to the best of my ability.
In this situation, it all worked out for the best. The manager apologized, I began to work for him and for the next year, we had a great working relationship.
Yesterday, I was interviewing with an agency who I had interviewed with in February. In February, I had a decently hefty consulting schedule and couldn't work full time, but this time, I'd be able to hold down a full time job and keep some consulting work on the side. When they called, they informed me the position I was interviewing for was temporary, with potential to become full time. I assumed this meant that they needed help on an account, but had not gotten full approval from the client on the additional headcount.
I was really, really wrong.
When I arrived, they were 10 minutes late beginning the interview. Not 5 minutes in, they told me that I was there because they thought my resume was interesting, but not really what they were looking for. However, all the candidates whose resumes were perfect hadn't worked out in the interview process. Since I wasn't really right for the job, they were interviewing me for a "temporary" account supervisor position. They wanted to see if they could try me out because they didn't think I'd work out. Oh, and on top of that, throughout the course of the 2 person interview, they also told me that they were going to keep the account supervisor position open and continue to look for someone to fill it while I would be doing the job temporarily.
So, to summarize, they didn't really like me from my resume, but thought I was interesting. They weren't willing to hire me for the account supervisor position, but would take me temporarily and keep looking for the perfect account supervisor. Additionally, they wanted me to start right away, accept the offer of temporary work, but I had no idea what I would be making. They also seemed confused that I needed a formal offer to review before accepting the job.
If I were desperate for work, I probably would have swallowed my pride and said sure, I'll work here even though you've insulted my ability and my intelligence by being here. However, I'm fortunate enough to know that I deserve better than to be treated as a low grade marketing professional.
And apparently, this type of interview is quite common in the agency world. They make sure you know that they don't really like you but are willing to let you get a foot in the door. This way, they can pay you next to nothing and watch you grind it out with blood, sweat and tears to make it in their agency.
I'm not against hard work and paying your dues. Life and work is filled with adversity you have to overcome. But I am very much against working in an environment where you aren't expected to succeed from the get-go.
In life, you often have to prove yourself, but shouldn't have to prove yourself to an audience of people who are clearly not expecting you to succeed and show you no respect whatsoever. If you are on twitter or follow the tweets from the @shitmydadsays account, it's like the elder Halpern says: "Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
So what to do in a situation like this? Breathe. Smile. Don't retaliate. Believe it or not, you have a bridge to all the people you interview with and you don't want to burn it with a snide remark. Answer their questions, but let them do most of the talking. Shake hands hard, be confident and walk the heck out of there with your head held high.
And don't accept an offer below your skill level unless you really need to. It's a bad economy, but you'd be better off getting a job at a Starbucks where they will appreciate your work ethic than working someplace where from the beginning where they don't really want you to succeed.
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