Yesterday, I went to one of the most insulting interviews I've ever been to, though sadly, it was not my first.
The first time was in 2005. I was working at the Cincinnati Enquirer as a sales coordinator and wanted to be promoted, so I interviewed for the sales associate position. Walking into that interview, I was confident and composed. Walking out of that interview, I was shaky and upset. I had unknowingly walked into a mine field. The manager had decided to throw rumors left and right in my face and scream at me. None of the rumors were true, which my current manager corroborated on my behalf later; but at the time, I was freaking out. I told myself to stay calm and answer his questions (accusations really) to the best of my ability.
In this situation, it all worked out for the best. The manager apologized, I began to work for him and for the next year, we had a great working relationship.
Yesterday, I was interviewing with an agency who I had interviewed with in February. In February, I had a decently hefty consulting schedule and couldn't work full time, but this time, I'd be able to hold down a full time job and keep some consulting work on the side. When they called, they informed me the position I was interviewing for was temporary, with potential to become full time. I assumed this meant that they needed help on an account, but had not gotten full approval from the client on the additional headcount.
I was really, really wrong.
When I arrived, they were 10 minutes late beginning the interview. Not 5 minutes in, they told me that I was there because they thought my resume was interesting, but not really what they were looking for. However, all the candidates whose resumes were perfect hadn't worked out in the interview process. Since I wasn't really right for the job, they were interviewing me for a "temporary" account supervisor position. They wanted to see if they could try me out because they didn't think I'd work out. Oh, and on top of that, throughout the course of the 2 person interview, they also told me that they were going to keep the account supervisor position open and continue to look for someone to fill it while I would be doing the job temporarily.
So, to summarize, they didn't really like me from my resume, but thought I was interesting. They weren't willing to hire me for the account supervisor position, but would take me temporarily and keep looking for the perfect account supervisor. Additionally, they wanted me to start right away, accept the offer of temporary work, but I had no idea what I would be making. They also seemed confused that I needed a formal offer to review before accepting the job.
If I were desperate for work, I probably would have swallowed my pride and said sure, I'll work here even though you've insulted my ability and my intelligence by being here. However, I'm fortunate enough to know that I deserve better than to be treated as a low grade marketing professional.
And apparently, this type of interview is quite common in the agency world. They make sure you know that they don't really like you but are willing to let you get a foot in the door. This way, they can pay you next to nothing and watch you grind it out with blood, sweat and tears to make it in their agency.
I'm not against hard work and paying your dues. Life and work is filled with adversity you have to overcome. But I am very much against working in an environment where you aren't expected to succeed from the get-go.
In life, you often have to prove yourself, but shouldn't have to prove yourself to an audience of people who are clearly not expecting you to succeed and show you no respect whatsoever. If you are on twitter or follow the tweets from the @shitmydadsays account, it's like the elder Halpern says: "Don’t focus on the one guy who hates you. You don’t go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
So what to do in a situation like this? Breathe. Smile. Don't retaliate. Believe it or not, you have a bridge to all the people you interview with and you don't want to burn it with a snide remark. Answer their questions, but let them do most of the talking. Shake hands hard, be confident and walk the heck out of there with your head held high.
And don't accept an offer below your skill level unless you really need to. It's a bad economy, but you'd be better off getting a job at a Starbucks where they will appreciate your work ethic than working someplace where from the beginning where they don't really want you to succeed.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Feedback 201: people's opinions that don't matter
Yes, we're back to the fun subject of feedback after my team vs. tribal city rant.
In our last installment, we talked about the boomerang method of getting feedback. You work and about 6 months later, you hear what you did wrong when you can't fix it.
In this issue, we'll briefly discuss what happens when you get feedback from people who's opinions don't really matter. And of course, we'll have to discuss why you are getting that feedback in the first place.
We'll begin with an example of what I'm talking about. About a year ago, I was leading a project avidly with about 10 other people. The project changed directions about 5 times and then it sort of died down. It had a short resurgence, and I had to assert my position a few times on the project team. A few weeks later, two women, who really had nothing to do with my project, nor were they on my team, decided to give my boss feedback on me for the project. It wasn't good feedback- they claimed I was trying to take over a project that really wasn't mine.
The feedback seemed out of place. It was given by two women who weren't on my team and didn't have anything to do with the project. I didn't understand where it came from until later when it became clear that they wanted to attach themselves to the projects as the owners of it for the glory and fame associated with completing it.
Where to begin....
First, we need to understand why people who aren't associated with your job in any direct fashion are giving "feedback" on your performance. In some cases, it really is in your best interest. They might be interpreting or hearing things that you are doing differently than others and what they say can be seen as an unbiased opinion and judgment of your work. You could really learn from this feedback so it can be important to hear it and take it in.
On the other hand, you can have people with other motives...usually power. In my case, these women wanted the project from me. It was a high profile project which could have garnered them many accolades, so the easy way to put a person down is to give feedback that's negative about how they approach something. It's very possible that I was in the wrong and being overly assertive- but what matters in this instance is that the women were never there personally to be making these claims. They decided that they were going to give this criticism absent of any actual knowledge on the subject. This is a power play.
The problem is that although their opinion shouldn't have mattered, it did to my manager. And this is the problem with most out-of-place feedback. People who have nothing to do with your job shouldn't be giving feedback on your performance. Ultimately, they are reaching that opinion via gossip and not first hand knowledge. However, in the new style of performance reviews, their opinions are anonymous and part of a collective set of opinions. Unless you have a really thoughtful manager, this isn't going to get weeded out in a review.
So what to do? You can't escape some negative criticism in your career unless you have perfect charm, charisma, popularity, work ethic, and competency, so two things to know:
1. Take criticism, especially from people who don't matter, in stride. If you can learn something from what they say after letting it marinate a little, that's all the better, but don't worry if you can't. In the words of Jay-Z, go on brush your shoulder off, you gotta get that dirt off your shoulder.
2. Try listening instead of talking sometimes. I'll confess that I am TERRIBLE at this. I am passionate and excitable about my projects and just like jumping in with ideas and information, so this is still something I need to learn. But if you can, try listening instead of talking sometimes and maybe you can avoid some of that feedback.
In our last installment, we talked about the boomerang method of getting feedback. You work and about 6 months later, you hear what you did wrong when you can't fix it.
In this issue, we'll briefly discuss what happens when you get feedback from people who's opinions don't really matter. And of course, we'll have to discuss why you are getting that feedback in the first place.
We'll begin with an example of what I'm talking about. About a year ago, I was leading a project avidly with about 10 other people. The project changed directions about 5 times and then it sort of died down. It had a short resurgence, and I had to assert my position a few times on the project team. A few weeks later, two women, who really had nothing to do with my project, nor were they on my team, decided to give my boss feedback on me for the project. It wasn't good feedback- they claimed I was trying to take over a project that really wasn't mine.
The feedback seemed out of place. It was given by two women who weren't on my team and didn't have anything to do with the project. I didn't understand where it came from until later when it became clear that they wanted to attach themselves to the projects as the owners of it for the glory and fame associated with completing it.
Where to begin....
First, we need to understand why people who aren't associated with your job in any direct fashion are giving "feedback" on your performance. In some cases, it really is in your best interest. They might be interpreting or hearing things that you are doing differently than others and what they say can be seen as an unbiased opinion and judgment of your work. You could really learn from this feedback so it can be important to hear it and take it in.
On the other hand, you can have people with other motives...usually power. In my case, these women wanted the project from me. It was a high profile project which could have garnered them many accolades, so the easy way to put a person down is to give feedback that's negative about how they approach something. It's very possible that I was in the wrong and being overly assertive- but what matters in this instance is that the women were never there personally to be making these claims. They decided that they were going to give this criticism absent of any actual knowledge on the subject. This is a power play.
The problem is that although their opinion shouldn't have mattered, it did to my manager. And this is the problem with most out-of-place feedback. People who have nothing to do with your job shouldn't be giving feedback on your performance. Ultimately, they are reaching that opinion via gossip and not first hand knowledge. However, in the new style of performance reviews, their opinions are anonymous and part of a collective set of opinions. Unless you have a really thoughtful manager, this isn't going to get weeded out in a review.
So what to do? You can't escape some negative criticism in your career unless you have perfect charm, charisma, popularity, work ethic, and competency, so two things to know:
1. Take criticism, especially from people who don't matter, in stride. If you can learn something from what they say after letting it marinate a little, that's all the better, but don't worry if you can't. In the words of Jay-Z, go on brush your shoulder off, you gotta get that dirt off your shoulder.
2. Try listening instead of talking sometimes. I'll confess that I am TERRIBLE at this. I am passionate and excitable about my projects and just like jumping in with ideas and information, so this is still something I need to learn. But if you can, try listening instead of talking sometimes and maybe you can avoid some of that feedback.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)